While counselling couples, my role is to understand the way the partners react to each other and to identify the patterns of behaviour that impact the relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) focuses on the emotions behind the behaviour. I encourage couples by listening very carefully and helping them to recognise and express their deeper emotions.
In close relationships, immensely powerful emotions can rise in order to communicate our needs to our partners. This is why EFT concentrates on emotion.
A relationship that used to work well can turn into something where both partners feel at the end of the tether. Often, partners find themselves getting into the same arguments again and again.
I help couples notice the negative patterns and cycles they get into, and to work out how to change what is happening and to develop new ways of interacting.
In EFT, clients are not considered mentally unwell or lacking in skills or deliberately trying to hurt their partners. They are seen as stuck in a negative pattern which follows the same lines regardless of events. If the pattern does not change then both partners play their part in keeping the negative cycle going.
WHAT HAPPENS DURING THE SESSIONS
In the first session I will invite each of you to describe what seems to be wrong for you in your relationship. In so doing, I will help you form a clear picture of what you need to work on in order to change the way you interact with each other.
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